Fellow struggling writers, this will warm your cockles.
I was in a foul mood last week, after some mean spirted individual had lambasted my book on Amazon; having the temerity to describe it as boring. May their bones rot. Having assessed the cut of their jib and concluded that they were not the sort to usually read anything decent and having further deduced that anyone who goes by the handle of ‘Earbasher’ is likely to be of a generally beligerent and critical nature, I dismissed them from my mind as a worthless worm.Yet still it rankled. I cared not a jot for Earbasher’s opinion, for others have praised my efforts mightily, but it is annoying not being able to defend one’s literary efforts once they are fully exposed in the pillory of the Amazon customer review page, helpless in the face of any idiot who comes along and decides to throw a rotten cabbage in their direction.
And so I sulked. But then a remarkable thing happened.
On wednesday I received a phone call from my Granny who told me a remarkable story:
She related how she had been sitting in the doctors’ surgery awaiting her appointment and noticed that the lady next to her was reading one of those new fangled Kindle devices. Being a rather chatty and socialable type, Granny enquired as to what it was. The lady explained that it was a device for reading books.
‘That must be handy.’ Opined my Granny.
‘Yes’ said the lady. ‘I bought it to take on holiday; its much easier than taking loads of books with you.’
‘Reading anything good?’ asked Granny, just being polite really.
‘I’ve just read a fantastic book called The Battles are the Best Bits.’ The lady replied, and went on to say how much she had enjoyed it and how interesting and well written it was.
At this point she wondered why my Granny had burst into tears.
Through her swelling grandmaternal pride Granny explained that the book had been written by her Grandson.
So what are the odds of this chance meeting between reader and author’s grandmother? If I was E L James it would be pretty unremarkable, but since I’ve only shifted around a thousand copies so far they are pretty astronomically high. It was clearly a sign from the Gods, I concluded; sent to cheer me up in a moment of doubt.
So frankly Mr Earbasher, I don’t give a damn. If you run into my Granny you’d better watch it – she’ll give you a clip round the ear.